Mothers experience a mix of emotions, on one hand joy and relief because they can focus on something other than their role as a mother, but also concern about how their child will be while they are at work, and worry about adjusting to work after a break.
Same job, different circumstances
Before returning to work, a series of decisions need to be made in line with the family’s possibilities. Who will take care of the child, whether grandparents, or they will go to daycare, kindergarten, or another solution, all raise different questions. If it’s daycare or kindergarten, will we find a suitable option, and then adaptation to kindergarten, which is often not easy for both the child and the parent. Organizing who will take and pick up the child from daycare, as well as frequent illnesses while the child builds immunity and then readjustment are challenges of this new period for the child and the whole family. Even when all this goes smoothly, the question remains: how is my child now, whether they are being taken care of properly, and how they are coping. Mothers are usually the ones who take care of the child, and this may be the first time they have to entrust the care to someone else, which is sometimes not easy.
When all decisions are made and mothers return to work, they do not return to the same point as when they left on maternity leave. It is possible that much has changed in their workplace, and now they need to catch up with all the changes that have occurred in the meantime. Many women also feel a sense of guilt, as if they have abandoned their employer, and sometimes employers and colleagues also contribute to the feeling of guilt with comments that suggest they have surely rested, or with general comments implying that they were idle during that time, and that they have been done a favor by going on maternity leave. All this does not help the existing pressure. Sometimes women wonder if they still know how to do their job, if they will cope after a long break, and if they will be able to adapt to all the changes that may have occurred in the meantime – new colleagues, new tasks, new projects.
Entrepreneurial mothers
Entrepreneurial mothers also face different challenges as they try to find time to restart their business and now may have to start from scratch in some way. Often in this case, there is a transition period where they work a few hours a day, sometimes even from home, and this can also be difficult, because the child is usually in another room, and does not understand why the mother who is always there and available is now in another room and unavailable. Maybe they lost some or all of their clients because they haven’t worked for some time, so now they have to deal with promotion again. When a mother does not have an exact date when she has to return to work, because she is her own boss, often the support from the environment is lacking because they do not have a typical working hours, and sometimes it is observed that returning to work is a luxury, not a necessity, both financial and the need to do something they may love, and what they missed in the meantime. Plus, entrepreneurial mothers had no or very low income during maternity leave, which puts them in an even more difficult position when they return to work.
Unemployed mothers
Similar problems are sometimes faced by mothers who were not working before pregnancy. In addition to now having to find a job, and maybe even start a career, which is challenging in itself, sometimes support from partners and extended family is lacking. Sometimes the mother herself wonders when is the right time to start working, for both her and the child, especially when the partner manages to financially support the family.
The benefits of going back to work are not just financial, they are really diverse. Socialization, the feeling of making progress, being useful, knowing how to do something, and despite the role of mother, having other things in which they want to develop. Also, financial independence can be significant at various levels.
What is common in all these scenarios is often absence due to child sickness and taking days off, which makes returning to work even more challenging. An additional problem exists when mothers did all the housework while they were on maternity leave, so now when they start working, they need to deal with all those obligations and share them with their partner.
In each of these options, returning to work is often a demanding undertaking, both organizationally and emotionally. What mothers value most in this period is support from the environment, but also the understanding that they are not to blame for not working, that it was not wasted time, and that they have the right to return to work.
Returning to work is just one of the topics we will address at the experiential educational meetings in our 10-meeting program How to Survive Motherhood. You can sign up by email info@psiholognovisad.com.
ChatGPT can make mistakes. Check important info.